"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

22:10 sephirothxworm: WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK DID I JUST FIND
22:10 sephirothxworm: OH GOD
22:10 sephirothxworm: WHY
22:10 NH1331: o_o
22:10 sephirothxworm: IT'S A DOUG FANFIC
22:10 NH1331: ??
22:10 NH1331: =O
22:10 sephirothxworm: AND I'M SKIMMING THROUGH IT
22:10 sephirothxworm: AND IT'S LIKE
22:10 NH1331: is it the one where Doug is all "You're a beautiful man, Mr. Dink"?
22:10 sephirothxworm: MR DINK, DRESS, EATS DOUG'S DOG
22:10 NH1331: ...
22:10 NH1331: wat
22:10 sephirothxworm: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2216877/1/Mr_Dinks_Obsession
22:10 sephirothxworm: WHAT THE CHRIST
22:10 NH1331: yeah
22:10 NH1331: that's the one
22:10 sephirothxworm: what the cock
22:11 sephirothxworm: that's horrifying
22:11 NH1331: that's fanfiction
22:12 NH1331: Only the hardiest dare tread into such places.
22:12 NH1331: Old cartoons, obscure movies, classic books
22:12 NH1331: These places are the realms of the strange ones.
22:12 NH1331: The ones who dream of beloved characters commiting acts of debauchery unimaginable by the typical human.
22:13 NH1331: The ones making bizarre, irrational connections between two completely different worlds for the sake of a dirty scene.
22:13 sephirothxworm: Indeed.
22:13 NH1331: Few can stare into the abyss of perversity and return with some semblance of sanity.
22:14 NH1331: If you are unsure of yourself, take not this risk.
22:14 NH1331: Turn away.
22:14 sephirothxworm: My best friends write gay dethklok fan fiction. :D
22:14 NH1331: Hide in the sweet security of ignorance.
22:14 NH1331: The truth will only bring you PAIN.
22:14 sephirothxworm: RA

GENERAL

DISCLAIMER: I have a penis, facial hair, American nationality, and am a white guy. So yeah, either Rowling has something she needs to tell us or the other, rather obvious, possibility, and I'm pretty sure that Gundam Wing and Evangelion were made by Asian dudes.

My preferences for fanfiction generally fall into the action, dark, gritty spectrum with some humor and diabetes instilling fluff sprinkled in. I'm not one for the whole Jesus!Harry thing where he's some grand magical messiah or whatever it is that people come up with. The prophecy was enough, don't make him some super agent of magic. Inheritance fics are also rather tiresome, where Harry steps into a vault and turns out to be richer than God with a bunch of toys that would make Batman look like a kid running around with a water pistol (and that's just not right). Entertaining to a point, and they all end up being the same in the end. I'd rather read about a self-made wizard Harry.

I'M BACK

Sorta.

As some of you may have noticed, I'm having a wee spot of trouble 'getting my groove back,' so to speak. I'm also getting tired of writing fifty different first chapters for the same story, so I figured I'll jot down all my plot bunnies here for future reference, or if anyone's interested in an idea and has the attention span I apparently lack to go through with it. If you wish to further discuss any of these plot bunnies, please use my forum or PM me if you wish to keep it private. Keep in mind that the designations listed below are not actual titles, and are only meant to specify whatever plot bunny is the subject of a particular discussion.

1. 'Forever Night' Harry Potter-Black Lagoon X-over: Vernon Dursley, having been fed up with his terribly abnormal nephew, 'loses' him whilst on a business trip to an oil company set in the Middle East. Said nephew is drugged up by some seedy characters and loaded into a truck to south-east Asia, on his way to a future rife with things that I don't think need to be mentioned outright. However, the truck is victim to an accident and the boy escapes, wandering into the city of Roanapur. As his magic is still wild and he is terrified, Harry accidently asplodes one of the men of Balalaika, the lovely-yet-psychotic Russian mobster. She sees potential in the boy and makes him into an investment, guilting him into 'paying his debt' for killing one of her men by doing several jobs. As a teenager he's made a name for himself as Hotel Moscow's supernatural attack dog (although he makes it quite clear that Balalaika does not own him). A spike in Death Eater activity in the Thai city of villains leads him back to the UK, full of questions and a powerful need for answers. Emphasis on combat, guns, wands, and the bad versus evil scenario a la Riddick.

2. Cross Dimensional Craziness: I'm sure we're all familiar with the 'Harry gets beamed into alternate reality and kicks some ass' storyline, which typically dealt with the prospects of Harry A nailing his female self at some point or another and/or having a family after booting out Harry B's soul/psyche for no apparent reason (I'm speaking in general, of course, I've seen a few fics that actually did this pretty well) while wielding badass magic and basically turning everything that gets in his way to dust. In my spin to it, Harry A's soul/psyche instead fuses with Harry B's, resulting in a somewhat 'OOC' Harry A with mixed traits depending on his backstory and the backstory of Harry B. In addition, Harry will not have ready control over his powers as Harry B's body has not been accustomed to using them (this will be especially true in the case that Harry B is younger than Harry A), and that full use of these powers will result in body harm, nose bleeds, brief moments of psychosis, shape-shifting into Harry A, or whatever else the writer can think of. An additional prospect to this plot bunny is the possibility of Harry A instead going into a female counterpart.

3. Zombie Apocalypse: Voldemort experiments with necromancy and inferi to produce a specialized form of inferi more akin to pop-culture zombies, growing exponentially as they flood the UK. Voldemort, in the chaos, takes over (albeit indirectly, using the Ministry as a front for his own interests), taking in those of sufficient blood purity into protected communities while the rest are in slums, used as bait, enslaved, or forsaken to the zombie-infested land. I know that Rowling mentioned something about a zombie in the first book, but since she never went in depth with it I think it's okay to ignore it.