HI MY FELLOW CRAZY ANIME FANS AND PEOPLE WHO LOVE GAMES AND ALL THAT JAZZ.

I am too creative for my own good.I need an outlet so with much persuasion and blackmail on my part i joined fanfiction.net.. i will try to update as soon as i can amist all the chaos in my life! that includes my crazy family. My friend baileigh will help me write some of my stories. Baileigh has an acount on here her penname is Fire-bandicoot-coyote. so if you have a soft spot for crash bandicoot, loonatic and Sly cooper stories go there.

(you can skip my nonsense if you want to read my fics but i have some funny shit in here)

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot, if you're one of the two percent who hasn't copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. repost this if you are one of the 8 who would be lauging your ass off.

If you miss Steve Irwin copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is longer than most of the chapters of your stories copy this into your profile

If you and/or your best friend is insane copy this into your profile

If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this into your profile

If you have ever ran into a door copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever ran into a tree copy this and put it in your profile

If you have ever tripped up and/or down the stairs copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice-versa copy this and put it in your profile. (in my case i litterally kicked the door down)

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever stolen a shopping cart from WalMart copy this and put it in your profile

Things about me...

Name; Jordan Gervais

Birthday April 12 1992

Age 16

Zodiac signs; Monkey (Year) Aries, Dog (hour) Libra (rising sign) Leo (moon sign) every one has an ascendant sign judged by hour in the chinese zodiac and in the western zodiac you have 3 signs, the sun sign (the one everyone knows judged by month) Moon (which sign the moon was in when you were born) and Rising sign (the zodiac that was on the eastern horizon at the time and place of your birth)

Apperance; shoulder length dark brown hair with red streaks and red underneath, black eyes, Palish skin,5'4 125 lbs

Grade; 11

Fav foods; All pastas,sea food,bananas,cherries, MEAT,RAMEN! rice,mashed potatoes and gravy, popcorn, coconut, chocolate, cherry and vanilla coke, chicken, cheese nips, zesty cheese dorito chips, apples

Steriotype; I'm not 100 sure but i know i'm a tomboy, and i think i'd be a punk and a metalhead, i'm not sure. oh just want to say this, occasionally i wear dresses. i only have one that i wear and it's a jean dress that goes all the way to my feet. and i have a special rule on skirts i only wear skirts that are to my knees or lower (and that is rare, same with the dress) and I HATE PINK! i just don't like it...and i never wear pink stuff. there. I would rather say i don't have a label anyway.

Pets; Missy (dog) Cocoa (horse) Jenny (cat) Fido (puppy) those are the ones that are mine

Likes;Car rides, Drawing, Anime, Manga, bugging people, writting fics, slowly driving my family crazy, Comedy network, animals, Listening to music, being outside, rough sports, camping, My iPod, going to whitecourt

Hates; My brothers when they piss me off, School, getting up early, Homework, chick flicks, a few people in my town, some family members, 50 cent and a few other famous people, Soap operas, oprah, brittany spears, artificially flavoured grape things, chocolate icecream, chocolate milk, pink

Favourite books: Dragonlance,lord of the rings, Harry potter, Narnia, memoirs of a geisha, the royal diarie's series, Arthurian legends, (i really wanna read saga of the volsungs)

My Favourite Anime/Manga; Inuyasha, Beyblade, Fruits Basket, DN angel, Yotsuba, Full metal alchemist, Naruto, XXXholics, Tsubasa, Digimon (1st and second seasons only) Pokemon (1st, Johto, orange islands, Master quest) Anima, Mark of the Succubus, Hellsing, Bleach!

Fav Tv shows; Comedy @ club 54, Drawn together, Trailer park boys, futurama, simpsons, Family guy, 6teen, Malcom in the middle, South Park, Reno 911, Class of the titans, cops, AFV, Just for laughs, Colbert report, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, Blue Collar TV

The bestest buddy in the whole universe that i will beat the crap out of if anyone hurts in any way; BAILEIGH! or as i also like to call her bay-bay, bay, bayla, billy. B.A.D, irish cream, belgian chocolate.

My other best friends: Hayley,Brittany (Blondie), Christina (Squishy, Chrissy, Christinie weinie), Ai (my penpal), Sarah (Sarie), Catlin (Cat woman), Kate, Rachel, Lainey, Donovan, Jesse (yes baileigh i'm putting Jesse) Jolly (it's a nickname) Matt (Matheius), Kelsey L, Kelsey C, Cody, Colton (Colon, Marshmellow, Coltina Gabulara), Katya, Leslie (les) Heather, Eyrl, Beans (it's a nickname),Danielle(Kitty), Jeremi, Coralie, Branden, Christian (stunt midget, wee man) Cullen, Chelsea, Quinn (Quinn Stefani), Josh, Ruth (Ruthie), Mila, Tayla, Dayton

I need to come up with funny nicknames for my friends.

My fanfiction.net buddies; halfdemon-kai, Inuyasha's-evil-twin-Krissy, Animegirl329, Callie Maxwell,Tatitails410, Goldnote,ChibiConfettiQueen, Byakugan hyuga, baby-inu2000, fairy-with-hidden-wings, Animelover101, dark soul 1313

Favorite bands; Green Day, Nickel back, Def leppard, Avril lavenge, Metalica, Queen, Evanescence, Simple plan, sum 41, trapt, Linkin park, three days grace, SR-71, slipnot, Weird al, Bullet for my Valentine, Within Temptation (i can't find any of their CDs...) System of a Down, Alexisonfire, My Chemical Romance, Disturbed, Killswitch Engage, As I Lay Dying, Maximum The Hormone, Skillet, Disciple, Pillar,

favourite songs:

End of Heartache-Killswitch Engage luv it!

Forsaken-Skillet it kicks ass

headstrong-trapt (i have a naruto music vid of this song),

going under-Evanescence (this i think could be baileigh's fav song)

Numa numa-Ozone (once again more memories)

Time's scar-? (I don't know who it's by but it's a sweet instrumental)

I'm just a kid- Simple plan (me and baileigh made a parody of this song for Kelly cuz he's a dumb ass most of the time)

Wind: from naruto: there's something about this song that i just luv, that and i can sing it

My nicknames; porgy, porgesquese, Pennelope (penne-lope), Penelope, George, Jordo, Jorgy, Jorginist, jorginy, jordie, sweet pea, porge, the Jordanator,Your highness (my nickname from byakugan hyuga) that crazy one, what's her face, that girl with the long hair/nails (the last 3 names are what people who don't know me call me) Goalie (from the gym teacher) Girl Jordan (Selena) Jordanarama (Derived from a movie my friends call Katanarama...Sarah has called me that ever since)

My hobbies; singing, archery, writting and reading fanfiction, bugging people and my brothers, landing myself in the hospital, drawing and tracing anime and other things, scaring the crap out of random people with my crazyness, learning about things that interest me, hockey, football, wrestling, and knitting, murder is starting to look like it's a lot of fun. camping. plotting what's the most descrete way of killing customers...getting Ritesh to poison their burgers would probably do it.

my favorite movies;

inuyasha 3 swords of an honourable ruler, eight crazy nights, aliens vs predators, baby's day out, water boy, liar liar, bruce all mighty, lord of the rings, all of the starwars movies, ace ventura; nature calls, king arthur, pirates of the caribean, the pacifier, the longest yard, happy gilmore, bad news bears (old and new), ice age digimon the movie (the first one, i loved the first two seasons but now they suck big time!) miss congeniality, all theHarry Potter movies, all 3 scary movies (the comedy) ,adam's family values, Mr. Deeds, breakfast club, without a paddle, american pie 2, Rocky I II III, over the top, School of rock, memoirs of a geisha,

My favorite games

Halo 2 (X-box)

DDR (X-box)

God of War (PS2)

legend of zelda ocarina of time (N64)

super smash bros (N64)

inuyasha the secret of the cursed mask (ps2)

inuyasha fuedal combat (ps2)

suikoden IV (ps2)

Suikoden tactics (ps2)

lord of the rings the two towers (ps2)

king arthur (ps2)

Naruto ultimate ninja (ps2, I AM HOKAGE! FEAR ME!...lol)

Final fantasy X-2 (Ps2)

Kingdom hearts! PS2

i'm not really a fan of yugi-oh (or as others in my school call it you-gay-hoe) but i like this one game for gameboy advance called yugi-oh championship tournament 2004.

My favorite comedians;

Wanda Sykes, Lou Eisen, brent butt, Walter Mathau, Don stewart, mike macdonald, robin williams, chris rock, adam sandler, jim carrey, miller crosby, Glen foster,David Spade, Jeff foxworthy, larry the cableguy, Denis Leary, Greg Morton (his teeth are funny) Dave Atell,

my favorite quotes and things people have said that made me laugh and conversations

"Peanuts needs to be picked up, linda left a message saying she won't be home." "Oh okay. Dad linda said she wouldn't be home!" Josh "Did she leave a message?" My dad "No! she sent smoke signals!" Josh said sarcastically.

"The roof's an asshole!!" Branden after he hit his head on the top bunk

"And then I woke up from my dream..." Quinn after he tells a story, it can be in real life and he just adds it at the end of his stories or even sentences...

"Everyone came to my house and put beef jerkey in my microwave...and i left it there, then i woke up from my dream." Quinn.

"Damn it...what was Selena supposed to make?" me "I dunno." Nishi "Banana...Banana...Banana shit!" Me and Nishi trying to remember we were supposed to have banana boats.

"Okay, we'll put in this DVD and we'll say that it's a sign of god that we have to watch it next." Me. (someone can be heard taking their shoes off) "And i did magic! I summoned the guys to come see our miracle!" (Quinn enters camper) "Jordan did magic! she made a sign from god and summoned you here!" Nishi "No! I'm not mad at you! You never did anything to me to make me mad!" me (I thought Nishi said i was mad at Quinn)

"Man...that's just like a duck with a shotgun..." Logan when we were watching AVP and the aliens fight back.

"JIMMY!!" Logan, he gave one of the Predators that died a name...Jimmy died when he was 12 on a hunting trip (the predator...not a real person...)

"Microwaves shoot balls out their asshole." Colton and his brothers when they play the one word sentences.

"what if that guy comitting suicide spontainiously combusted and that was what made the twin towers blow up?" Me

"yah! and instead of shaving cream we put a rock in their hand and tickle their face?!" Dayton (discussing classic pranks)

"Or we could replace the shaving cream with hair growth cream like happy tree friends and they could have hairy hand print growing on their face?" Dayton

"Rank." Dayton

"Deadly." Dayton (his two words he says the most.)

"Who are you?" Colton "Jordan." me. "I don't remember someone named Jordan." "Do you remember a girl who loved games as much as you did when we were little?" me "what? i dont remember a girl who OH MY LORD IT'S YOU!! JORDAN!! WHAT'S HAPPENING! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T REMEMBER YOU!" "yeah i have that effect on people."

Me and colton's reunion, he moved a long time ago...and we just got back into contact.

"Micheal Jackson is suing for racism well honey you gotta pick a race first while you're at it pick a gender." Robin williams

"Welcome to neverland! you must be this tall to ride micheal!" Robin williams.

"Look at me! I'm a chicken! fuck off!" Cody

"Get ur foot off my DOLLA!" jolly

"Only cops and polititions are corrupted." Jolly

"There is no lovin in the lab!" Mrs. Seridiak my science teacher

"Yeah i'm fond of the mullet man too." Mrs. Seridiak

"Don't you love science now? i mean where else can we make fun of the mullet man?" Mrs. Seridiak (there was a guy with a mullet on a worksheet we were working on and his hair was almost on fire)

"Bring any kind of reading material, even if it's a cereal box, i don't care just read it." My LA teacher

"In this room you love science, you WILL love science." Mrs. Seridiak

"Is ther a bathroom down here?" Salon "No but there's a tree outside though, just like the charmin commercial."

"Don't mess with the secretary." Mrs. Seridiak

"hey, HEY! i wanted steak and cake!" (josh shakes his head) "fine i'll go get myself a steak and cake combo." my cousin Brock

"Terrorism 101" My uncle neil. my uncle dale and my brothers were playing with gunpowder in the porch

"You're the best uncle Dale!" my brothers. "what did you do now?"-my mom "Playing with gunpowder. they liked it cuz i almost blew my finger off." my uncle.

"Believe it!" naruto (it's so annoying but it stuck)

"It's destiny" Neji

"i'm an avenger." sasuke

"clouds are sure nice." Shikamaru

"I'm sweating out Crisco!" me in sports class

"Elmo look like cookie, cookie monster eat elmo." "AAAAAHHH" "yummy yummy yummy i got elmo in my tummy."kelly did talk shows this one was when he interviewed cookie monster, he was hungry so he ate elmo.

"hello kids elmo's here today! a-" "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" a line from kelly's interview with elmo.

"I see we have trouble picturising even when there's a picture in front of you." My math teacher. we all bombed this question so she made us figure it out with tooth picks.

"Jordan how many pepsis have you drank?" sarah "lets see, i drank my 3 and one of yours and Kelsey's so 5, plus those gummy worms didn't help." me rocking back and forth in a chair laughing. "i'm cutting you off." sarah. "WHEEE!" me running around at my friends sleepover.

"Baileigh set the eggbeater down and no one will get hurt...BAILEIGH THE EGGS HAVE BEEN BEATED TO A DAMN PULP SET THE EGGBEATER DOWN!"me "but they aren't throthy enough! see there's still chunks!" Baileigh "Hans quick take the bowl away while i have her distracted!" me.

on 22/2/2006 me and baileigh were in the same kitchen for home ec and i learned a valubule lesson, never let baileigh near an eggbeater or else. i think we scared our group for life. yeah that was a messed up day.

"as much as i hate treehouse the one show that i can't handle other than barney is the berstein bears." me "why?" baileigh"cuz they named their kids brother and sister!" me "Yeah you have a point there, sounds like the hippies." baileigh "which brings me to another unanswered question; mama and papa must've been on pot when they were naming their kids." me "Yep must've. imagine if it were two boys?" "That would be funny." me (we now call the bernstain bears the "cocaine bears")

me and baileigh were either in science or social when i came up with this brain wave. we were suposed to be working but i'm kinda going through an apathy phase.

"JORDAN!" baileigh. "What?" "Quit drawing asses on my white board! it's not sex ed yet! we're suposed to be teaching them science!"baileigh "but i finally figured out how to draw them! look this one is taking a dump!" me.

"brayden, go play with donny!" baileigh. brayden dissapears. 5 min later "HELP! HELP US! AAAHH!" donny and jesse. we go over to the tent and i get my camera braidon is beating them up "get him out!...why are you taking a picture?" jesse "I'm filming this." me "WHAT!" donny. donny wraps his legs around jesse as braidon jumps him. "HAIRY LEGS! HAIRY LE HE HEGS!" jesse.

"No wonder we're both so screwed up, we both come from a bunch of noobs." Baileigh said this on the way to class one time after i said something about what we did.

"he sings like he's got his nuts caught on a barb wired fence." My mom, she and my brother were trying to sing a blackeyed peas song when they were washing the dishes josh sings everything weird.

"Now he sings like he's constipated." My mom after she showed him what she thinks is the right way.

"I tried taking over the world but got distracted by something shiny."

"DJ spank that shit!" scary movie 3

"Oh man!" baileigh's grandpa.

"Chaos, panic and disorder-my job here is done."

"Sarcasm is just one more service we offer."

"Yes i'm an agent of satan but my duties are mostly ceremonial."

"I'm out of my mind but please feel free to leave a message."

"I only trust people as far as i can throw them and that fat fucker aint going far!" my dad.

"Don't throw rocks if you live in a glass house." My grandpa when we visited him.

"Money talks and bullshit walks," My dad and me say that a lot.

"Life's a bitch but then again so am i."

"She's about as useful as tits on a board." my mom.

"a good friend would bail you out of jail but your best friend would be sitting right beside you and say "that was awesome!"

or another rendition of that quote is "a good friend would bail you out of jail but your true friend would be sitting beside you and say "damn we fucked up."

"make a wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one gets filled up first." grumpier old men.

"I do not suffer from insanity...i enjoy every minute of it."

"A friend is someone who will help you up when you fall flat on your face. a best friend is someone who will laugh at you and was the one to make you fall in the first place."

"everyday i think no one can get any stupider and everyday i'm proven horribly wrong."

"Give me back my sock you goat bastard!" family guy. (to baileigh that quote never gets old)

"Jordan where is that resturaunt?" my mom "Oh you mean the pyrohy place?" me "No i mean the pyrohy place." "you're looking at it." me.

my mom had a blonde moment even though she's a brunette. it was so funny i still bug her about it.

"You goddamn elf!" Sam "Fat elephant!" Hayley.

"Who lit the fuse to your tampon."

"save the trees wipe your ass with an owl!"

"Save the plants! eat vegetarians!" krrk productions by konfizkate91

"Say no to crack." My dad at Mc donalds. he was pointing at a fat guy bending over.

"There's no vaccine for stupidity"

"So many pedestrians so little time."

"Your so stupid you got hit by a parked car!" i said that once to somebody.

"You couldn't even hit water if you fell out of a boat."

"Don't play stupid with me...i'm better at it."

"the power of christ compels you!" me as i was whacking my brother joel with a bible.

"Your so fat that when you go to the beach the whales sing we are family!" me and baileigh and christina were playing dozens on the bus.

"Your belt size is the equator."

"You're so stupid that when you saw a school bus driven by a white person you yelled POLICE! FOLLOW THAT TWINKIE! then when you ate it you said HEY WHERE'S THE CREAM FILLING?"

"Doctor are you sure you didn't screw up on Joel's sugery?" me at the glenrose. Joel was spinning in circles screaming i'm taking over the world. (he had to get a cochlear implant when he was around 3)

"Hey watch this kids! i can drink and drive!" my dad trying to drive while drinking a pepsi. it exploded as he opened it and we almost drove into the ditch (we were on a highway).

"your so blonde that you jumped off a cliff to see if your pad had wings."

"AHHH ITS PINK!" me "What?" mom "IT BURNS IT BURNS!" me passing the little girl section at walmart every single article of clothing was pink. my dad was cringing too. i scared away all their customers.

"Sarah what would you say if i ran up to that fake santa and said CAN I HAVE SESSHOMARU AND INUYASHA FUEDAL COMBAT FOR CHRISTMAS!" me "then id say i didn't know her." sarah. i did it anyway at a different time. this was during a fieldtrip.

"WARNING: icon user carries a spatula. we don't know why but we're afraid."

"Let me know if i say anything that offends you. i might want to offend you again later."

I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken. and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own."

"i dont know how to say fuck you politely"

(this one is my personal favorite) "too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head. Pass it on..."

"Foolish brother if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me and survive in an unsightly way. run run and cling to life." itachi from naruto

"it takes 44 muscles in my face to frown and 4 to put up my middle finger and say bite me." (got this from a pic with itachi on it giving the finger)

"You must always be yourself, and do things at your own pace. someday you'll catch up." Fruits basket.

"This is suppossed to be a preview for the next fruits basket but i have an important announcement to make...YUKI-KUN IS REALLY...A WOMAN!" yuki is giving shigure a death glare and looks like he's gonna kill him "i kid i kid! see i just thought that it would make more of an impact if i said something dramatic. you're 100 male yuki..well at least 80." Shigure in fruits basket

"NO TRESPASSING! Violators will be shot, Survivors will be shot again." the sign on my room door.

Some Q and A.

Q: how did you come across inuyasha and beyblade anyway.

A: to tell you the truth how i found inuyasha was an accident. a good one. i was looking for something to watch and Josh attacked me with a baseball bat and i pressed select and the first thing i saw when i threw him off me (which was a real acomplishment since he weighs 150 pounds and i'm only 125)was sesshomaru. I didn't develop a crush on him till later.

I found beyblade when i was surfing for channels and my mom was threatening me with a bicycle pump to put away my bike when i was 10. i wasn't a fan of the show till later but i liked it back then but i wasn't exactly hooked. (Yes there is alot of vioence in my familly)

Q: Why did you name your character after yourself?

A: I've always liked the name Jordan for a girl. plus i couldn't find any good names and it's too late to change it.

Q: Are all of your friends as crazy as you?

A: some of them are. We're working on da others and we're making some progress!

Q: Did you get dropped on your head as a baby?

A: i fell down the stairs when i was 2! so i hit it alot! my parents and my mom's side were playing D&D and they didn't put me in that jumper right and i got out and attempted to crawl down the stairs.

Q: why do you write stories? (a lot of my classmates ask me and bay bay that)

A; cuz i'm bored having to wait for all you fuckers (my classmates, i wonder why i'm not liked...) to shut up so what else can i do? also i have this thing, when i think of something it'll nag and nag kind of like my mom until i get it done so yep and the day that austin will actually shut his mouth for more than 5 minutes will be the day hell freezes over.

NEWS

March 12 2006

i now have 2 e-mail addresses! one for yahoo, animated_demon_girl@yahoo.ca and one for hotmail; half-demon_elf@hotmail.com so if you want to e-mail me to talk or if you want a penpal from canada e-mail me or private message or whatever! i love to talk so yah.

july 30, i deleted what really happened in beyblade cuz i really had no interest to continue with this story i didn't want to write it anymore, but i'm writting 2 Naruto stories to make up for it. one is called "Ninjas in a nook" which is where some of the naruto characters get transported to my house with me and my 3 friends...the idea is continued from goldnote's stories. and another one is called "Akatsuki's flower" which i hope is going to be a comedy with a serious side. so yeah that's all for now

SOME THANKYOUS!

Fire-bandicoot-coyote; for helping me co-write some of my chappies, giving me awesome ideas and words of encouragement. ha ha i hope you read this!

halfdemon-kai; for staying with me since i've first joined fanfiction.net and staying with my stories, and giving me words of encouragement.it is very apreciated.oh and also being an e-mail buddie. that and putting my Itachi/orochimaru theory on your profile...

Inuyasha's-evil-twin-Krissy; for encouraging me through my inuyasha character's in band fic and reminding me to post new chappies for it. and just being there to talk to.

Tatitails410; for giving me some good ideas and being one of the people for supporting my hilarious beyblade stories fic. and being a good friend

Callie Maxwell; for also giving me good ideas and also supporting my HBS fic.

Animegirl329; i'm sure you were one of my first reviewers for my first story before it was deleted and if you were, i thank you for that for staying with me and also giving me some definitions and helping me out with stuff and giving me your oppinion.

i hope i got everyone for now, if i forget someone let me know or i'll add you on my own.

AND I LOVE REVIEWS SO SEND ME SOME REVIEWS! I'LL KILL YOU! (holds up a plastic spoon)