THE END IS COMING

These words have been said to me to numerous times throughout my life.

So much that i have went from a time where faced with the uncoming apocalapse feeling dread, panic,and fear for all those who i hold dear to now where i feel lost.

So lost.

I am so used to the voilence and destuction that it doesn't even send shivers up my back like it used to.

Now i stand still, i stay calm. I don't even blink an eye.

All movement and sound cesses to exsist and i am on my own with only my thoughts for company.

I know that this time it could be the end and that everyone i know and love might die, that i might die,and i can't help but feel relief.

Its only for a moment but i feel happy.

I see peace, safety a place where i can finaly rest, somewhere where there is no more pain and blood and voilence that is this world.

I want it to end.

I want m duty to this world to be someone elses problem.

I want to perish along with everyone else and not for it to be my fault because i didn't fight hard enough, long enough.

I don't want to be the slayer.

But what i want doesn't matter my destiny is what matters.

So this is why i pull out if my retrieve, return to the panic and fear that surrounds me and i take charge.

I do it because i have to.

I do it because they need to and i do it because of who i am but each time i hope its the last time.

With that thought i fight and try to save the world that i no longer feel apart of and i fight until the day comes that it will swallow me whole.