Chapter 5

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-Helena’s POV-

He’s been in there for over an hour! What could Provost be saying to him?! I mean he couldn’t be getting anything worse than detention… RIGHT?!

MUST calm down.

Must CALM down.

Must calm DOWN.

Pacing back and forth in front of Higgins office isn’t the best way to calm down I guess. But I want to know how badly he is being scolded because of me. This guilt thing really is weighing down on me too much. I suppose I could just ‘pop’ my head in there and see what’s going on, but it would be weird. Reid would probably just get more upset with me too.

“Urg! Just come ou-” My rant is short lived because the door finally opens and out walks blondie. “Hey Reid,” I smile as innocently as I can. His blue eyes flicker to me but he remains silent.

That’s a first: Reid Garwin has nothing to say, I’m amazed.

No. I must not insult him. I still need him.

This seems awkward somehow, having him stare at me so intently. It is creeping me the ‘ell out. Just as I am about to open my mouth to say something, he makes a move and walks around me.

“I’m done with you,” his voice is nothing more than whisper but I heard it loud and clear. I turn around quickly and stand in front of him, blocking his path with my arms.

“W-wa-wait!” He can’t be saying what I think he is saying. “W-what?” He didn’t say anything.

WHY ISN’T HE SAYING ANYTHING!

…and then he smirked.

“I’m-” He paused and I saw something flash in his bright blue eyes. “-done.”

He wouldn’t do that, would he? I mean he surely knows how much I-

“AHH!”

He did! He walked right through me! That bugger!

“REID!!” He didn’t bother turning around and instead kept walking. “Talk to me!” Not even a second glance back at me.

He really is serious about this... he’s not planning on talking to me anymore.

Does he not realize how stupid this is?!

Giving the silent treatment to a ghost is unheard of and not to mention downright ridiculous! But I guess I can’t blame him. It is my entire fault that he got in trouble with Higgins. Still though. If he doesn’t help me – bloody hell – I’m already screwed over as it is. But whether he realizes this or not, he really is the only one that can help me.

Sigh.

I’ll just give him some space I guess. Yeah. Guys don’t like to feel overcrowded with a girl and I suppose I have been acting clingy. Pfft. How else am I supposed to act around the only guy who can see me!? But still, I must not cling to him too much. Some space will let him see just how much I need him.

Oh, yuck!

I never thought I’d think such a thing: me actually in need of Reid Garwin.

Time. I only need to give him some time to cool off and everything will be okay again. Knowing his small feeble brain, he’ll forget about this by tomorrow and be talking to me again.

Sigh.

I can only hope.

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Sleeping on the gym bleachers isn’t exactly what I thought the after life would be like. Not that I ever thought about such a thing to begin with. Who thinks about being dead anyway? Well, except for those emo kids. But still, religion certainly painted it much differently than this. People are supposed to find peace after death. I’m not so naive as to think people float up to heaven after they die or plunge down to hell, whatever the case may be but I still always thought people would be at peace, whatever it may be. Instead, here I am, a wandering spirit trapped in her dreadful school uniform.

Blimey!

It’s been three days and he still isn’t talking to me. Much less looking at me, not even wielding a tiny glance in my direction. Giving him space has only served for him to further forget about me. Peachy. I have the only living boy that can see me not talking to me, I have no idea how I died, and I don’t know what to do. What can I do? I mean I’m dead, dead as a doornail, and there is no changing that.

But I don’t understand why… why do I have to be like this?!

I can feel the stream of tears rolling down my face, but it’s like I can’t all at the same time. It feels faint. Almost as if the tears themselves were nonexistent. No. It’s more like the sensation of feeling is nonexistent. Everything is just numb.

I hate this!

I hate this so much!

Maybe if I would have stayed back in London with dad… I don’t know. Perhaps my fate would have been different. I might still be alive. I might still have a chance of doing all those things I wanted to do. It sounds so stupid to be thinking about that now. All the ‘what ifs’ in the world won’t change anything, I know that, but I can’t help but let the thoughts take form. My life would have certainly been different if I had stayed with my dad three years ago. Instead I let him convince me that I needed to spend time with mum and I reluctantly agreed. It’s not like I didn’t miss mum, because I did miss her everyday since the second she decided to leave. I just hated her reason for leaving. I hated her explanation of how she needed this forsaken town and how she could never be accustomed to dad’s busy lifestyle. I hated that she didn’t take me with her.

But I always understood why she did it.

All of my dreams and ambitions would never come true in Ipswich. She knew that because her own had faded with the dullness of this town. Yet she couldn’t stay away from this place -- no matter how much she said she wanted to -- it had unwillingly become part of her. With dad, she secured me having a shot at my hope of becoming a model. Even though she thoroughly hated the idea of my acclaimed profession she let me have my chance at it.

Then before the start of my freshmen year, dad got his so-called brilliant idea.

He promised me if I got a good education, if I graduated with honors, he would shoot my portfolio. It was something he had refused to do countless times before. He claimed it wouldn’t be fair for an amateur like me to have such an unfair advantage as having a world known photographer as a father. And he also knew what some girls got coaxed into doing while trying to make it big. It was a harsh business and I understood the underlying message: he didn’t want me to be just a face, to have to rely on him. And so I agreed that I would get an education… even if that meant moving in to this town.

I miss him so much.

But I couldn’t bear to see him. Not if it meant seeing him as distraught as Mum. He was probably worse than she had been. Mostly because he was probably blaming himself for proposing the idea of me moving here... moving to the town where I met my fate. As if he could have known.

I don’t blame him.

Sigh.

I just wish I knew what happened to me.

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I can’t believe I’m still showing up to class. It is an unbelievably hard habit to break. I was never one for skipping class when I was alive and now that I’m dead… well… it’s not like I have something better to be doing. Besides in all my classes my seat remains available and so are the ones next to mine. I guess no one wants to sit in the dead girls’ seat or the ones next to it for that matter. Whatever. It suits me just fine this way. At least like this I don't have to worry about students going through me in order to get to their seat.

Sigh.

He isn’t in class yet.

Not that I’m looking for him or anything because I’m not. I just can’t help but notice that he’s not in yet. Usually when he arrives he makes some kind of grand entrance – mostly because he usually comes in-

“Mr. Garwin.” My head shot up at the Professor’s announcement. “So nice of you to join us.”

-late.

Speak of the devil and he will come.

At the very least, he showed up though. It’s been over a week since he last talked to me. Even now as he walks into the class, he purposely looks anywhere except in my general direction. Bloody hell, if he doesn’t talk to me soon I think I’ll go insane! Not so much from the situation itself but rather just for the fact that I don’t have anyone else to talk to.

“Now that everyone is here,” said Professor Lodato as his eyes shot over to Reid. “I can begin the oral examination.” Every student, except for me of course, let out audible groans of protest. But the professor ignored everyone just as professor’s usually do. Pfft. It’s like they live for this stuff: making the lives of their students miserable, that is.

“The exam consists of only one question. When I call your name, stand up and answer the question. Now put all your books away.”

All the students shuffled around, some taking one last peek at their notes while others tried jolting down some possible answers on their hands. Reid, on the other hand, didn’t have any books in his desk to begin with and so he was just sitting there with his hands behind his head. Completely casual about the whole thing. Bugger. I always hated how he manages to stay so cool and collected all the time. Ever since I first laid eyes on him, back freshmen year, he has always been this way.

Not that when I was alive I hung out with him or stalked him or anything like that.

I just could never help myself from noticing him. Reid is just that type of guy. The kind of guy where everyone is just waiting on his next move.

“Mr. Garwin the first question is yours.” Reid sighed as he stood up, hands in pocket and with his weight on one foot in a James Dean fashion. “A car moving at a constant speed with a siren sounding comes toward you and then passes by. Describe how the frequency of the sound you hear changes.”

Oh there is no way he knows that.

He is just standing there. The same bored expression on his face as always. There are some students snickering at his laid back attitude while his friend Caleb looks as though he’s about to blow a vein at his friend’s lack of knowledge.

Geez.

Reid doesn’t even look like he’s deep in thought. He’s more like deep in some kind of daydream. Doesn’t he care if he fails or not?! Obviously not because if he did then he would have read the material and know the answer.

I can’t take this anymore!

“The pitch is higher as the car comes closer and lower after it goes by,” the answer comes out of my mouth before I even have time to think twice about it. Out of the corner of his eye he takes a small glance, but just quickly looks away. “I’m not messing with you, that’s the right answer.”

Surely he can’t be that mad – or stupid – not to take the answer, right?

“…”

Wrong.

“I’m waiting for an answer Mr. Garwin.”

Would he really rather get the answer wrong than accept my help?!

“SAY IT!” I slammed my hands down on the desk except instead of making a sound they just went right through it. “You don’t know the answer so what do you have to lose anyway.”

Reid slightly glanced at me again, and his shoulders slumped.

It is his signal of resignation.

“When the car comes closer,” he mumbles, almost afraid that I am messing with him and that what he's saying is something completely wrong. “…the pitch is higher. When the car goes by it is lower.”

“Correct,” Professor Lodato looked as surprised as he sounded. He didn’t think Reid would know the answer and technically he didn’t. “Take a seat.”

Reid nodded his head as he once again took his seat but before he does he looks at me. This time he fully turns to look over his shoulder and his eyes lock with mine. I notice his lips tug at the corners, and wouldn’t you know it, he smirked at me. Was that his way of saying ‘thank you’? Of course it is. I roll my eyes at him before standing up; as I walk I can sense his eyes watching my every move. Heh. I don’t bother looking at him before walking right through the door.

It is obvious that he doesn’t trust me.

If he did, then he would have said the answer the first time I gave it to him.

Although beggars can’t be choosers, I refuse to be a beggar of any sort. I’m not going to force him into talking to me and I am certainly not begging him to trust me. Nope. If he wants to talk to me, he can come and find me.

Hmph.

Until then let’s see how much Reid Garwin likes getting the cold shoulder.

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Author notes (Notes from Purpleangel (also known as Rosie)): Sorry it took me so long! My interest slipped (as you can tell since I’ve started a few fics in other fandoms) and I had such a hard time writing this chapter. I hope you found this chapter up to standards, since I feel a bit doubtful about it. The next chapter will probably take awhile (though not more than 2 weeks) to be posted. Sorry. But I have to divide my writing time into all my stories…

Speaking of which… some shameless self promotion here, I hope Cara doesn’t mind… Check out my brand new Covenant story entitled Violent Love Sinned. It doesn’t have many reviews but hopefully you guys can change that. The name is Violent Love Sinned and you can find the link in my profile. Please check it out and leave me some feedback. I believe Cara also has some new Covenant stories floating around so check hers out as well.

All those who are kind enough to leave a review will receive an exclusive sneak peek into the next chapter!