I had been following her blindly for four months and basking in her endless reserves of joy when she received her first vision

Written for the weekly challenge at the Livejournal community jasperalice. This week’s theme was Jasper and Alice’s first fight. So…enjoy. :-)

Title: Shattered

Author: ladyakako

Pairing: Alice/Jasper

Summary: Alice must fight to finally defeat the demons that Jasper harbors in his soul before they meet the Cullen coven for the first time.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Brief, vague reference to sex.

I had been following her blindly for four months and basking in her endless reserves of joy when she received her first vision of them. Her immediate excitement after the vision was encouraging but as she detailed this new family to me, I felt unease grow and fester within me. I pushed it aside and as tenaciously as could clung to her brightness.

As implicitly as I trusted Alice, I knew she would simply brush aside my wariness, writing it off as nerves. She never saw the danger in approaching a coven full of strange vampires quite as clearly as I did. Although, if she did invest in the danger of catching another one of our kind off guard, she would have never come to me in the way she did.

So as we trekked across the country, now turning with lush burgundies and golds to autumn, I simply held on to her as tightly and as often as I could to at least keep my demons at bay. The darkness only encroached on my mind when she wandered too far away from me, leaving me alone with the imposing, silent trees of the woods that only stirred the gloom that threatened my mind.

She must have seen my apprehension, however, in one of her visions. For an entire week, she never once let go of my hand even though I had never voiced to her the comfort the contact lent me. We had hardly explored into that territory, instead we drifted on the planes of our emotions and the sweetness of finding each other again and again, unchanged except in the ever growing intensity of our love.

The day that confirmed to me forever that I would be hers forever came only two days before we joined them. My fears that I had locked away came back to stalk my mind as she led me gently through the woods of Washington. I stopped mid-stride, deciding in that moment to share my thoughts with her. She reacted faster than I even knew possible, already seeming to know without the current of fear that was now coursing freely between us.

“Jazz…” she whispered, her fingers tracing my face tenderly. With each feathery touch of her skin against mine, I felt my conscience lighten as if the dark horizon of my dreams was being painted over with a fierce, joyful hue. But it wasn’t enough. It was still there underneath the new coat.

“Alice,” I murmured, catching her hands in mine and pulling them close to my face. Even her scent seemed to leak happiness into the environment, but it still wasn’t enough.

“It’s going to be okay,” she assured me so quietly the air around us wasn’t even disturbed. I closed my eyes to see flashes of my former coven before my eyes and a new wave of sickening fear washed over us. I felt her shift closer to me and her hands wriggled free of mine to fully grab my face.

“What if it isn’t? The future can change,” I asked, my tone sharper than I intended. I surprised even myself with the sudden anger than was rising in me. It felt red and hot as it churned inside of me, wrestling with my newfound peace to come screaming to the surface.

I felt her stiffen as she too felt the anger that now oozed determinedly from me. Her touch grew firm and she closed her eyes in concentration. It was a long moment until I realized what she doing. A strong current of calmness flowed from her outstretched fingers that held my face. The flames of my anger licked and singed at the Alice’s current, but it was undeterred in its path straight to my frozen heart.

“It’s going to be okay,” she repeated herself and the current of calmness suddenly flooded fully into my entire existence and I grew lax in her hands, the fight fleeing from my system.

She must have known what was coming, but if she did, she never let on. As her soft lips brushed against mine for the first time, I felt her sense of discovery mingle with my own. As she pressed herself fully against me, her lips never leaving mine, I felt every last defense against my own happiness shatter within me and come falling to the ground around us in shards. Her happiness enveloped me as we explored each other for the first time there in the woods.

She never protested as I shed every last drop of anger and fear by touching her. With every new swatch of skin that she revealed to me, I felt a new wave of ecstasy lap at my mind until finally an ocean of love spread within me. As we kissed, she murmured over and over to me that everything was going to be okay until finally, I no longer needed her to say it. It was enough just to feel her next me, her body dancing with mine into eternity.

We left every shard of my former life in those woods and it was with a new, permanent calm that I followed her out of the forest and into our new life with them. I no longer harbored anything inside of me but love for her. My Alice, who would have done anything to be the remedy to the restless fear that had festered inside of me for so long, led me into a new era of happiness that could rival nothing I had ever felt before that day.

So what did you think? Review and let me know. Thanks for reading. :-)