Pages 142-145 from Eclipse written from Edward’s POV. As per request of Brit. ;-)

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Despite knowing that Alice would be less than fifteen minutes away from Bella at all times while I was away with Jasper and Emmett on this hunting trip, I still felt a dark uneasiness stirring inside me. It almost caused me physical pain to be separated from Bella for any prolonged time and although necessary, these hunting trips seemed to try my patience a little too much lately.

The old pleasure I took from lithely sneaking up on the cunning mountain lions of the park seemed hollow and unrewarding now. My entire being was consumed with a million possibilities of what could happen while I was away. Who knew the kind of trouble Bella could get into without someone constantly at her side to watch over her? She was so breakable, so fragile.

And even though she had smiled and joked as I left her this yesterday morning, I could still sense the inevitable sadness that ebbed in the corners of her mind every time I left her. I knew she thought of the dark days of my self-imposed exile whenever I went away from her for too long and it pained me inexpressibly to see that in her.

We had barely been gone for a day before I was already yearning to go back. Jasper and Emmett were frustrated with my listlessness and had mostly left me alone to hunt. Breaking from my normal habit, I kept my cell phone with me every moment of the hunt, not caring if it went off during an attack anymore. I had told Alice to call if anything went wrong with Bella.

So when the phone suddenly buzzed mid-morning, I barely let it finish its first ring before I was heading back to my car. I knew Alice would only be calling if something had gone wrong and if that was the case, I had to get home immediately.

“What is it?” I answered the phone without greeting my sister. My voice was terse and the uneasiness from earlier morphed into pure terror when the line was silent for a moment.

“Edward,” Alice finally said after a long beat, “she just disappeared. I have no idea what happened.” Without answering her, I flicked the phone shut. My mind went completely blank with the sheer possibility of anything happening to Bella. I hurtled the miles towards my car with no other thought than Bella.

Almost tearing the door from its hinges in my haste to get in the car, I quickly jumped in and tried unsuccessfully to stop the now uncontrollable stream of gruesome possibilities. I gripped the steering wheel tighter than I should have and pressed the gas pedal farther down than it was ever really meant to go as I drove the distance back home to Forks in record time.

I didn’t have to do any guessing to know where she had gone. I didn’t have to do any guessing to know that she would be naïve enough to truly believe that that adolescent dog would do her no harm. She just couldn’t understand that his volatility, his immaturity was a danger to her.

My mood grew darker as I passed the city limit and headed my car towards La Push. When I reached the boundary, I slammed my brakes on and screeched to a halt. I yanked the door open again and ducked outside to catch a breath of the cool night air, trying to dispel the sick feeling of dread that had pooled inside me.

What if he had transformed when she was near? What if he hurt her? What if this meeting was something more than just a reunion of friends? Was there more to this relationship than I had first perceived? What was his hold on her? Was it as stronger as mine? Was it stronger?

I convinced myself that it was necessary to cross the boundary what must have been over a hundred times, for a hundred different valid reasons. Every time I came close to actually crossing, Bella’s pained face would flash in front of my face and I would stop myself with a cringe. I didn’t want to hurt her by breaking the treaty, but what if the dog had somehow injured her? If he had so much as touched her roughly…

A frustrated cry stuck at the back of my throat but I never voiced it because it was at that moment that I caught a whiff of her. She was coming up the road. I swiftly got back into the car and revved the engine just in time to see her familiar truck stumble past me on the road. I counted slowly to ten before following her.

It didn’t really matter how long I waited to press the gas after she passed because my much more capable car caught up to hers in a matter of seconds. I saw her eyes flicker to her rearview mirror in surprise but she didn’t look back again. I followed her closely all the way to the Webber girl’s house but I didn’t stop as she pulled to the curb. I just accelerated down the road, too angry with myself and her to do anything about it right now.

My hands gripped at the steering wheel too hard again and I had to forcibly remind myself that it would be hard to explain why my steering wheel had sections torn off to a repair shop. Grinding my teeth instead, I sped all the war back to my house where I left the Volvo in the driveway, not bothering with the garage. Without even going in, I headed straight for Bella’s house planning to wait there for her until she returned from her friend’s. My mind was besieged with thoughts from my family, worried about Bella, but I blocked them out as best I could as I ran faster and faster into the woods that separated our house from the rest of Forks. As soon as I was out of their range, my mind assumed an eerie calm and my only thought was for the rhythm of my own running and the woods around me.

Too soon, I broke through the line of trees that bordered on the Swans’ house and when I saw her bedroom window, cracked open as usual, all of my anger returned tenfold. How could she be so headstrong as to endanger herself like that after I went through so much trouble to keep her safe? Why couldn’t she just listen for once?

My head throbbed with emotion as I lithely climbed up the side of her house and into her bedroom. I slammed the window down behind me, out of pure frustration with myself for being so angry. I didn’t realize Charlie was even home until I heard the TV downstairs blaring out some sports game. I had been too distracted to even check for him, but he seemed to be sleeping and was thankfully undisturbed by my outburst.

I forced myself to take a deep breath and leaned against the wall, working for over an hour just to modulate my breathing, trying to calm myself down. The eerie calm I had felt while running had now evolved into a still rage, but I wasn’t sure who it was directed at yet. Bella for going to La Push? No…the dog for no doubt goading her to go there? Myself for leaving her alone?

Hours passed and I stayed frozen in place for most of the time, too lost in my own mind to bother even pacing. I was startled from my own thoughts when I heard the soft click of the door downstairs. I heard her soft voice telling Charlie she going to head upstairs to study. I closed my eyes as a fresh wave of frustration with her…with myself hit me and didn’t open them until she had closed her bedroom door behind her.

I knew my eyes were hard on her as I glared, but after all my work to calm myself, I couldn’t restrain the strong emotion she had stirred in me earlier from resurfacing as I saw her standing there. I knew now that I wasn’t angry at her, at least, more at myself for leaving her here.

“Hi,” she whispered quietly. I didn’t move as she fidgeted nervously, still standing by the door. “Er…so, I’m still alive.”

I clenched my jaw, fighting a primal growl back down my throat and continued to stare wordlessly as her. Still alive…yes, I could see that, but did she even know what she had put me through today? The gauntlet of emotions that I had passed through?

“No harm done…” she continued in an obvious effort to placate me. I broke my gaze at her and closed my lids, trying to find the right words to convey everything I was thinking to her.

“Bella…” I started, my voice sounded weak and I steadied myself internally before continuing, “Do you have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty? Do you know…what that could have meant?”

She opened her mouth and when she took a sharp breath, I opened my eyes again to look at her, not able to go any longer without watching her emotions, however hard they were to read, play across her features.

“You can’t!” she protested, forgetting to whisper for the moment. She adjusted her tone before adding, “Edward…they’d use any excuse for a fight. They’d love that. You can’t ever break the rules!”

I fought a bitter smile and retorted without thinking, “Maybe they aren’t the only ones who would enjoy a fight.”

“Don’t you start,” she snapped back at me, her voice almost cracking with emotion, “You made the treaty – you stick to it.”

“If he had hurt you…” I growled, not able to even finish the thought.

“Enough!” she hissed. “There’s nothing to worry about. Jacob isn’t dangerous.”

“Bella,” I started incredulously, “You are not exactly the best judge of what is and isn’t dangerous.” I bit my tongue from adding that the teenage werewolf was dangerous in more than one way to her.

“I know I don’t have to worry about Jake. And neither do you,” she argued defiantly. My teeth snapped together at the nickname she had given the dog and I flexed my hands in frustration. I didn’t understand why Bella refused to ever acknowledge danger.

I was acutely aware of her as she crossed the room to close the wide gap between us but didn’t unfreeze myself as she leaned against me, wrapping her warmth around me.

“I’m sorry I made you anxious,” she whispered against my chest and I sighed at her words. I melted against her and pulled her closer to me, burying my face in her hair and inhaling, ignoring the fact that her normally wonderful smell was tainted.

“Anxious is a bit of an understatement,” I said softly into her hair and sighed again. I pulled her closer to me before adding, “It was a very long day.”

“You weren’t supposed to know about it. I thought you’d be hunting longer…” she trailed off, her words still muffled by my shirt that she had buried herself in. She looked up, meeting my eyes and when I saw concern flash there I knew she had noticed that I hadn’t fed. I stroked her hair and felt her disapproval as she studied my face. I looked away before explaining myself.

“When Alice saw you disappear, I came back.”

She shook her head and frowned deeply. “You shouldn’t have done that,” she sighed. “Now you’ll have to go away again.”

“I can wait,” I assured her stoically.

“That’s ridiculous,” she shot back and I detected a soft note of anger. “I mean…I know she couldn’t see me with Jacob, but you should have known –”

“But I didn’t” I interrupted her quickly, the sound of his name sending a strange knife through me. “And you can’t expect me to let you –”

“Oh, yes, I can,” she cut me off determinedly, holding her chin up in defiance. “That is exactly what I expect.”

“This won’t happen again,” I vowed firmly. I put a hand on her chin and pulled it down to its usual position. I looked down into her eyes stubbornly but she didn’t seem deterred by my stare.

“That’s right, because you’re not going to overreact next time.” She tore her chin from my grasp and took the hand that had been holding it in her own.

“Because there isn’t going to be a next time,” I muttered lowly. She let out a frustrated breath of air and dropped my hand.

“I understand when you have to leave, even if I don’t like it –” She had barely even started before I saw where she was going and cut her off.

“That’s not the same. I’m not risking my life,” I pointed out calmly, sure of myself.

“Neither am I,” she argued and I laughed scornfully despite my best effort to hold it inside.

“Werewolves constitute a risk,” I said tersely.

“I disagree.” She was shaking her head and I was hit with a fresh whiff of the dog on her. It revived some of the quelled anger and my hands curled into angry fists.

“I’m not negotiating on this, Bella.”

“Neither am I.” She shrugged and tensed in my arms, falling quiet for a minute. “Is this…really just about my safety?”

The question caught me off guard and I answered a little harsher than I meant to.

“What do you mean?”

She flinched slightly before taking a deep breath and launching into more questions. “You aren’t…um, I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right?” Her beautiful brown eyes swam with uncertainty and I was reminded of the sharp stabs I felt every time she referred to the dog by name.

“Do I?” I asked seriously, wondering what had prompted such a question. If she had to ask if I was jealous, did that mean I had really did have a reason to be?

“Be serious.” Her voice sounded shaky as she tried to brush me off. I could tell she had grown uncomfortable with her own line of questioning.

“Easily…there’s nothing remotely humorous about this,” I said gravely, once again reaching for her hand. She frowned as I took hold of her and seemed to be searching for words to another question.

“Or…is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and-werewolves-are-always-enemies nonsense?” she blurted out suddenly and I was taken by surprise again. Where had these questions even come from? “Is this just some testosterone-fueled…”

Incredulous at the accusation, I could barely keep myself in check as I assured her, “This is only about you. All I care is that you’re safe.” I could feel the emotion inside of me smoldering and my anger dissipating into relief that she was okay. She relaxed in my arms and leaned against me again.

“Okay…” she sighed. “I believe that, but I want you to know something – when it comes to all this enemies nonsense – I’m out. I’m a neutral country. I’m Switzerland.” I nodded, amused at her speech and she continued without acknowledging me. “I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythological creatures. Jacob is family. You are…well, not exactly the love of my life...I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don’t care who’s a vampire and who’s a werewolf. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party too.”

I hid a smile at her babbling and waited to see if she would continue with a raised eyebrow.

“Switzerland,” she recapitulated with a nod. I frowned as her hair swung around her shoulders again, the wet dog smell hitting me full force again.

“Bella…” I started, trying to control the disgust in my voice.

“What now?” she sighed, looking suddenly very tired. I smiled through my distaste for the smell.

“Don’t be offended…but you smell like a dog,” I told her carefully, trying to keep a straight face, but losing the battle a small smile that tugged at my lips as I saw her eyes light up with her own smile of relief.

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