Author's Note: b'guh. i...i...did...d-did...what...-shot-

i actually, updated? like i USED to?? what, oh WHAT, is this world coming to?? i ask you. WHAT?

alright, alright, so it's not totally epic and whatnot, but still, that's one hell of an effort this summer! and i feel better already. :D sigh. i STILL haven't left the country/state since the flipping school year ended...so what am i supposed to DO?? i feel like i'm on deprivation of vacation, deprivation of LIFE. summer is what i've been waiting for all school year and now that it's HERE...!

i stay home. .—.

...at least i get to drive places soon. then i can at least go to the bookstore when i want.

anyway, WHAT BROKE ROXAS' HEART? you'll probably shoot me for this.

Chapter 5: Roommates?

“What’s...that?” Roxas asked hesitantly, unsure on if it would be alright to step further into the room or not. His fingers were starting to twitch at his sides and already his palms were beading with sweat. And he couldn’t do anything about it either. The way his body worked in certain situations was, surprisingly, out of his mind’s control. And so he stood there—stone cold with lips parted while Axel held something small and obviously broken in the palm of his hand.

Axel raised an eyebrow at the sad, lifeless little necklace and began to look at it from different angles with indifference. The glass pendant was cracked into two pieces.

“Dunno,” he replied with a sigh. “Thought you’d know. After all, it came in that package-a yours.”

Roxas’ eyes widened. “You...opened it?” What the hell? He didn’t have to go and do that! Ugh. The nerve of people that didn’t know the meaning behind belongings. What’s yours is yours and what’s mine is mine. He held back a groan and instead tried to get a better look at the pendant Axel was still examining.

“Hm. Came with a card, ‘case you were, ya know, concerned.” Axel scoffed and with a smile he turned from the blonde and slipped into the kitchen. Roxas made a huge reach for him but only succeeded in stumbling forward and landing flat on his face. Ah, shit! Axel didn’t pay any attention to Roxas’ little mishap and instead carefully placed the broken pendant on the kitchen table beside his guitar and began digging around for stuff in his cabinets.

Roxas—still disgruntled and obviously discomfited—peeled his face off of the lovely carpet and shot his eyes to the left where Axel was doing god knows what. He followed his movement from cabinet to cabinet—digging through utensil after utensil for, again, god knows what! It wasn’t until Axel made the “AHA!” sound of discovery that Roxas forced himself to stand up and get a closer look.

“What’re you doing?” Roxas asked, slowly craning his neck so he could watch Axel tinkering with the thing. “Hey! Be careful with it! It’s from—”

“Yup,” Axel quickly interrupted as he—without so much as a glance over the shoulder—handed Roxas a small piece of paper in between two of his fingers. Roxas ogled it for a short while before he extended a shaking hand to accept it and eventually read it.

“For Roxas,” he read aloud. “Happy birthday. I know it’s not as big and as flashy as what I gave you last year, but consider this one straight from the heart. All my love. O...lette.” Upon reading her name, Roxas’ heart sank all over again. Why was it that whenever she was brought up he had to feel bad? Maybe it was because he could never return the favor. As he continued to stare at the little card, Axel went on messing with the broken something rather that Roxas hadn’t even seen yet.

“She a friend-a yours?” the redhead asked, still hunched over his work. Roxas didn’t look up and crossed his arms.

“Mhm. Since high school.”

“High school, huh? Man, must’ve been one helluva ride for ya.”

Well, uhm, that’s a problem. Roxas couldn’t remember much from high school. It wasn’t that he hated high school, it was just that nothing particularly interesting came out of it for him to relay. Yeah, it was technically a bad thing that he couldn’t think highly of his teenage years...but, really, he couldn’t remember. What would be the point of reminiscing if he couldn’t remember?

He blinked slowly and made some unsure noises in the back of his throat.

“Ye-yeah.”

Roxas heard Axel chuckle to himself, causing him to look up from the floor and at the redhead’s back. Axel leaned back into his chair and threw an arm over the back of it, giving his little project a quick scan afterward. Roxas reacted instantly to that movement and with a skip in his step, moved to the side of the table and stared down at Olette’s gift—a small glass pendant in the shape of a heart.

It was a clear pendant, attached to a brown leather string by a silver hook. A thin white crack trailed diagonally through it—like a little lightning bolt cutting through some tiny black words scribbled inside. From the looks of things, Axel had stuck the two pieces back together with a few squirts of super glue. Well, it was better than nothing.

“How’d it...break?” Roxas asked, his fingers reaching out to grab it. Unfortunately for him, Axel was quicker and once again he placed the pendant in between two fingers, proceeding to stare at it with narrowed and drunken eyes after. And he was actually smiling at it? Like it’s his or something...

“...A heart for you—fragile...and sincere. Someday someone will give you...their heart, their word: I’m here.”

Those words confused Roxas. But at the same time they made him shiver. Axel had read them from inside of the pendant, but somehow it just sounded different—like it was coming out of somewhere else, you know? He rubbed the bandage over his wound and with the other hand snatched the necklace away from Axel’s stare. Axel still continued to hold two fingers in front of his face as if it was still in his possession. Ch. What a freakin’ drunk.

“Cute choice of words. Comin’ from that, you’d think she was your girlfriend.”

Roxas rolled his eyes and tried to wrap the necklace around his neck. He had to go properly thank Olette...and then hope to the heavens that she’d accept his apology for breaking it if she were to notice. All the more reason to go home now! Now he just needed the rest of his mail.

“Found it on the ground next to ya last night. Probably got stepped on.”

Roxas just made a sound in his throat and after hooking the latch at the back of his neck, started for the front door again. “I just...came for my stuff. Once the cops clear out, I’ll move back in.”

Axel leaned further back into his chair until the legs were a couple of inches away from the floor. He threw a leg up on the table which caused it to shake and rattle. Roxas quickly glanced over his shoulder at the sudden movement and Axel’s smile instantly widened. This kid was hella jumpy!

“Looks nice on you.”

Roxas blinked. “What?”

“What your girlfriend gave you. She knows style, hm?”

“She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just close friends.”

“Ah, can’t up the status so you resort t’ jumpin’ off buildings? Happens a lot, you know.”

That made Roxas clench his hands into fists. He didn’t look away from Axel when he did, though. Death, death, death! What was up with Axel and sticking all the suicide assumptions up his ass? It’s not a pleasant feeling. But he let it slide and didn’t reply on his way out of the room.

“Ya know,” Axel started with a raised finger, “I’d think it’d get pretty tedious havin’ t’ walk all those blocks jus’ t’ jump offa that building ‘cross the street.”

“Your point?”

The redhead narrowed his eyes at Roxas’ back and found it amusing that he’d stopped walking away just to listen to him speak. It was really easy getting the kid to listen, and if that was the case, it’d be even easier to operate him. First, he’d been attracted to guitar chords, then singing, and then little word bombs. He could already tell that Roxas was distracted by the simple things in life. So if he played his cards right, Axel could strike and hit the right point in Roxas’ head.

Find the trigger...and pull.

“Why bother movin’ around so much? Wouldn’t hurt t’, ya know, stay here, right?”

Well, Roxas almost made a snarky comment on that...almost. But when he tried to piece words together—this one here that one there—they didn’t match up. In fact, there was nothing he could say correctly to oppose that offer. In truth, yeah, Axel’s place had a better sense of living and security. No thin walls from which neighbor’s banters and sexual activities could be heard were built around him. And, on top of all that, the brick building—that perfect building—was merely 10 steps across the street.

“Makes sense since we’re both after th’ same goal, right?”

While staring at the tips of his shoes and wiggling his toes inside them, Roxas considered and considered more Axel’s suggestion. It actually...made sense. But he wouldn’t stay here forever, oh no. He’d only stay for, let’s see...how did two days sound? Give Axel the thought that he’s comfortable before turning the tables on the second day and dying! Yeah, that’d be a pie in the face, wouldn’t it?

Both ends of Roxas’ mind shook on it, and he turned around with a faint smile drawn on his lips to say, “Makes sense.”

Axel smirked and settled his chair back down on the floor. That pendant, broken or not, actually did compliment Roxas’ look—made him look at little less beat down and “fuck the world” in attitude. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked right into Roxas’ eyes at a slant...but then they drifted down, down, down until he found himself doing the old checking out maneuver.

Hm...

“How long?”

“Gimme a week.” Hm. Sucker. Roxas bit the corner of his lip to refrain from snickering.

“Alright, roomie. What’s yours is mine.”

Roxas nodded on that statement and finally backed out of the room to do some wandering. “I’m going out for a bit.” And with that, he left the front door open a crack and began his wondrous journey of walking up and down hallways to pass time. At least until eight tonight.

In the meantime, Axel celebrated with another beer. So now they were a bit more than acquaintances, a step over suicide buddies, and one inch shy of becoming friends. Roomies. Hm.

Roomies.

Maybe now he’d get to try a hand at saving this kid.

xxXXxx

He could tell by the shelf of organized CDs, cassettes and vinyl records that Axel enjoyed the vocal company of dead pop, rock, soft rock and the occasional indie singer. Ever since Axel had taken his turn to leave the apartment, Roxas had spent a majority of his time either staring into the refrigerator or sitting on the couch in the trinket infested living room. He just liked it in there for some reason.

The evening news came on around 7 o’clock and when it did, Roxas felt strange being so alone in the place. He started to rethink his choice in living here for a couple of days. He might’ve been a wee bit hasty in deciding...but shit, that was done already.

He flopped his head back on a pillow he’d stolen from the bedroom and put the evening news on mute while he dug in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Strangely, he could afford a cell phone, but mostly because he rarely used it. The bills never surpassed 100 bucks. For some reason, he had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that he had to make that one monthly call today.

So, after browsing the list for another minute, Roxas stopped on Olette’s number and selected it with the little green phone icon. He still felt rotten about his broken gift...and ditching her...and worrying her...and lying to her...oops.

Ring...ring...ring...

Dammit, why did it take more than three rings before someone would pick up the damn phone? It was like the law of nature to do that!

And then, the heavens opened up.

“Roxas!”

Roxas sighed and smiled a little against the phone. “Hey, ‘lette. What’s up?”

“You tell me. You left in a hurry earlier!” She started to laugh and Roxas swore he heard clattering in the background. Dishes, no doubt.

“Sorry. Am I bothering you?”

“No, silly. I just got done with the dishes. Hayner came over for dinner. You wanna talk to him?”

“N-no, that’s ok. I just wanna talk for a little while.”

The stunned silence probably meant that Roxas hit the suspicion button in Olette’s head. Yes, yes. “You guys are best friends!” The whole shebang. Whatever. Talking with Hayner on the phone was like talking to a psychopath. He was the kind of guy that didn’t exactly hold a conversation on the phone, but instead talked to himself while he took out the trash, saw something funny on the computer or read something kinky in another dirty magazine.

And he wasn’t exactly in the mood for that tonight.

“Oh. Alright. You know, he quit his old job.”

Roxas adjusted his position so that he was facing the dark ceiling with an arm under his head. “Really?”

“Mhm. He said it wasn’t as fun without you. And the pay wasn’t helping much at home.”

“So that’s why he came over for food, right?”

She sighed and her voice dropped to a whisper. “Don’t tell, ok? But...I think so.”

Both of them laughed, only Roxas forced himself to stop sooner than she did. Laughing was bad. BAD.

“A-Anyway,” he started again, “I just called to, you know, tell you that I’m sorry I left you like that. I had to come back to my...friend’s house and pick a few things up.”

“Are you back home?”

“...No. I’m staying over here for a few days. It’s a long walk back home.”

“Do you need me to—?”

“No, it’s ok, Olette,” he interrupted while holding out a hand as if she’d been in the room. “I don’t need a ride back. Geez, you’re gonna be one heck of a mom.”

He heard her scoff on the other end. “Kinda feel like I am already.”

Boy, he wasn’t in the mood to revisit guilt again tonight either! He pretended to laugh it off and smiled up at the ceiling.

“You don’t have to go and do that, you know.”

“I know...but you guys are like family to me. It’s not easy! Hmhm, I don’t think I can leave any one of you behind.”

Gee. This wasn’t such a great thing to hear either. So...maybe calling her up tonight was a bad thing. Maybe falling asleep would’ve been nicer. On that thought, Roxas yawned loudly and rubbed his left eye tiredly. She must’ve heard it since she clicked his tongue and replied:

“You get some sleep over there, alright? Can’t imagine how your sleeping patterns are going now that you’re—you ARE job searching, aren’t you?”

If people honestly believed the whole “I’m going through a tunnel, you’re breaking up” excuse, then Roxas would’ve used it in a heartbeat. But regardless on if he’d used it or not, Olette was a smart girl—she could sense these things. He sighed and played with a tuft of hair that fell over his eyes.

“Not yet. Too...soon.”

“You need to get on that, Roxas!” She semi-lectured him and he could already picture the wagging finger to go with it. Yeah, yeah. Job hunting. Nothing but wasted smiling and BSing, if you asked him.

“I will, I will. Don’t worry...and, Olette?”

“Hm.”

Roxas lowered his hand from his hair to his neck where the chipped heart pendant was sitting idly in between his collarbones. He touched it gently—thinking that if he picked it up it would snap in two all over again—and started tracing the ridged crack with the tip of his middle finger.

“...Thanks. For the necklace, I mean. I really like it.”

She started to giggle. “Hm. You’re welcome, Roxas. Thought the words inside were meant just for you, you know.”

“Yeah...I liked them, too.”

“...Whoop, gotta go, Roxas. Hayner’s about to leave. You sure you don’t want to talk with him?”

He nodded and shut his eyes with a hand draped over them. “I’m sure. Bye, ‘lette.”

Without hearing her reply or Hayner’s loud goodbye in the background, Roxas flipped the phone shut and let it make a nice home on the carpet. The evening news was still going on mute when he fell asleep in the darkness of that organized chaos of a living room.

xxXXxx

Roxas was definitely a heavy sleeper. Even the squeaky floors and the un-muted television mixed with some chuckling and chain rattling couldn’t wake him up. Even the drunken pedestrians, drunk drivers, horns and screeching, obnoxious blathering and laughing from the streets couldn’t wake him up. Axel saw him laying there on his couch when he got back home from a little browsing in the shopping district.

He chuckled to himself and shut the television off before leaning over to make sure that Roxas was actually breathing. ‘Kay, so that was good. He didn’t want to be, you know, labeled a shadow or anything for the kid, but he was just curious and even a little concerned. Was that such a bad thing?

Nah.

With both hands on the armrest of the couch, Axel peered down at Roxas with his hand still covering his eyes while he slept. Yeah. This had to be the only time he saw Roxas so loose and laid back. And the fact that he was on his couch was too darn cute to handle. Smiling sincerely, he leaned closer until he could feel his cheeks tingling when they came within an inch from touching Roxas’ fingers. His own reached down and slowly, very slowly peeled Roxas’ away from his face. He set Roxas’ hand down at his side and, as expected, the kid stayed conked out.

Asleep, Roxas’ face was relaxed. There was no way a nightmare or vice thought had attacked this guy in years. If that was the case, then Roxas probably wasn’t as keen on dying as he claimed to be. His eyes were twitching in some secret world he was in while his lips and eyebrows moved ever-so slightly in time.

He cocked his head a bit and, still staring at the blonde’s face, dropped his smile and replaced it with a look of deep attention—like a kid spotting their first cloud in the shape of something spectacular. His eyebrows rose and his green eyes glossed over.

“Heh. Night, Roxas,” he chuckled before effortlessly lowering his head, shutting his eyes and barely tapping their lips together. He felt them touch, just a bit...and stayed like that.

Until Roxas opened his eyes...and wondered why someone was hovering over him...

-staggers- yeah, i know, I KNOW. a tad short, right? but i liked it that way. i feel like axel and roxas deserve a little, you know, couple of moments to mellow out...before trying to jump off of high places.

...did i leave people dangling again? XO i can't help it! i think i need to go to alcoholics anonymous for a meeting...only, not for alcohol. for...cliff-hanging...syn...drome...(i enjoy making these things up) and stop askin' me when these two are gonna get to the fucking!! IT-WILL-COME. is this really all you guys read this story for? .—.

well, i went to the bookstore today and purchased a compilation of george carlin's three bestselling books, and i HIGHLY recommend this for anyone who is into funny, cynical randomness as told from the perspective of...basically a grandpa at the thanksgiving dinner table who won't stop complaining about his chair being too stiff or the turkey being too cold. only it's FUNNY! i can't wait to get to reading more of it tomorrow. (so, uhm, yeah. this is my summer vacation Dx)

but think about it! hopefully i get to go to the zoo next week! (sad) and then i get to practicing driving! (sad) and get to write about axel and roxas...making...love...

how exactly do you "MAKE LOVE?" what ingredients are mashed together to "MAKE LOVE?" how much does love go for? 10 bucks a lb? maybe it depends on the size...hm. i think i'll stop by the market tomorrow and ask around. no doubt that PILLSBURY has one of those cake boxes filled with all the ingredients for me. or maybe it's in the fruit aisle? or the meat department? in the freezers between the ben and jerry's and the hotpockets? well, i'll be makin' love along with axel and roxas, ey?

the main ingredient for love?,
kokoro77