Spider
by Parade

Disclaimed.

Dedicated to Amei-chan, for being such a supportive and wonderful reviewer.

xox

I blinked at the wall in surprise. I looked down at my hand, not quite sure of what I had done, and saw the book, still in my weak hold.

I looked back at the wall, and bit my lip. There it was, still in the exact position as it was before, the spider I had just smashed against the wall without any hesitation.

That spider had been in my room for ages. Every night for the past few weeks it had been there, climbing across my wall with no care whatsoever.

I had freaked; I hate spiders. Yes, I am a kunoichi, and yes, I can deal with them when they are outside. But when I see the eight-legged creature climbing indoors I can’t help but edge away in fright. It seems so out of place, like something forcibly taken out of its home into a new environment. Or, a girl taken out of what she thought was a happy childhood with a bright future, only to be thrust into an uncertainty dripping in heartbreak and betrayal.

And then, I grew weary of it. That spider. It kept walking across my wall, uncaring, side to side, every day. It annoyed me to no end. It knew what it was doing, it didn’t care for the world, it was safe and happy. I was jealous of a spider. How childish it seems, but I hated it, and I envied it.

My hate of it grew inside me until I just snapped. I grabbed my book, and without hesitation I slammed it against the wall, and it made a slapping noise that sounded so sickly in my ears, a whisper of death escaping the sharp sound.

The spider stayed attached to my wall and I do not know how. Was it its will? Was it there just to haunt me, even for the slightest of moments? The spindly legs were curled inwards, battered, snapped, shattered, crushed, smashed, splintered, in a gruesome way. Had it tried to protect itself with its tiny legs, which were no match for my book, for my strength, for my power?

This is where I am, still staring at the wall. But I feel dirty, and I feel guilty. But why? Why do I feel so unclean and… wrong? I’ve killed people before; I’m a kunoichi, but why did the killing of something so insignificant bother me so?

Because it wasn’t insignificant. It was deathly significant.

The spider could have had a family. It was doing no wrong, its home was my wall, and I had just taken away its life like that, with no thoughts of the consequences. What would happen now? The spider… what had I taken from it?

Everything. I had taken everything away from something for my own personal greed, my selfishness in not being able to stare at something that encompassed everything I had ever wanted: security, happiness, pleasure in doing something so simple.

What was I going to do now? Would I kill senselessly, even to something so small? Of course I would, it was my job after all. I blinked at the pathetic thing one more time.

I got a piece of paper, flicked the spider off of my wall and threw it out of my window.

xox

This just happened to me now. Strangely. I just changed it to fit with Sakura. R&R if you want.