good

good

Great stuff.

Reading the right story for this review now.

Wanted to give you a quick Geography lesson. Not sure where your Sunnydale is located, but traditionally it's just north of Los Angeles.

Now, a flight from L.A. to San Francisco takes 50 minutes by a standard jet from a public airline. So to board, get bored and fall asleep, followed by having another hour till they land would be crossing from the East Coast to the West Coast.

I am enjoying your stories, but I live near S.F.

Dustmote

To start with, I really am enjoying your stories, they can be a little difficult to follow sometimes. Below is some constructive criticism.

I figured you would be reading the reviews for this story and not your older stories anymore.

I few issues I have come across in the first two books of this series.

Series is a good word, but you use it instead of the word Serious.

There is also Accept/Except you tend to use the second as the first. The difference between them is Accept is to receive something, like "I ACCEPT this check for 100,0,0 dollars" while Except is like a But, "I love all fruit, EXCEPT kiwi." Meaning "I love all fruit, but not kiwi."

Grammar also tends to be a slight issue, mostly commas. Grammar has never been my strong suit, so I can't really say much, but you may want to find a Beta who is good with grammar.

Another issue I have run into is changing the Point Of View. It is helpful to know when the POV is changing. Most authors I have read use something like * or - or even an original --==--. I am still rereading book 2, so when you change from Harry confronting Ron to Janna and Sarah confronting Lilah. It helps the reader to know that either the POV is changing or the passage of time.

Keep up the good work, I really do like your writing.

Dustmote

Great work.

Nice work.

good

excellent

Great stuff.

In the first arc of the story Alucard said that Xander would have far to travel before he reached his goal. With dimensional travel,fandom crossing, and emotional growth he HAS come very far. The trip has been enjoyable for us readers as well. I am definitely looking forward to more.

nice3

Good job.

Great work.

good