Now, before I begin, this may sound like a flame but I assure you it is not intended to be one. Flames, in my opinion, are reviews that describe all the aspects of whatever is being reviewed that the reviewer believes the author should be scolded about. I do not want to scold your story. Rather, I'm... commenting on what I personally did not like about the story, not suggesting in any way that you should change it for my sake as others are perfectly content with what you have.

On to my review.

Your story has a good summary that easily caught and held my attention and made me want to see what your story was about. What I read, however, disappointed me. Initially the prospect of Harry living with a twin that was NOT the Boy Who Lived/Girl Who Lived (or something of that nature) was intriguing, but the following storyline didn't quite match what I was expecting.

In other words, the rest of the story that has been posted so far is mainly canon, and not so much fiction as I had expected. A very similar plot line is carried out with the slight difference of Jay's name/dialogue being added in now and then. With Harry having been raised with a twin and the rest of the world knowing he had a twin, I had presumed that the following story would be different. At least, I had hoped that Harry's personality would have changed. Growing up with a twin give a whole different spin on Harry's childhood and what he went through, being a twin myself I fail to see how he was mostly unaffected personality-wise.

Expanding on the whole world knowing Harry had a twin, doesn't it change aspects of the prophecy? Was no one curious about the celebrity's twin? Didn't Jay have a godparent of his own? Don't situations and events change with another character added in? It doesn't seem like Jay's done much to the story and isn't as important as I thought he would be.

What is his purpose here? He sounds like a random thrown in character that adds in an odd comment here and there. Please reply...

Thank you for reading this far, (if you did)
Sakura Wolf

PS, again, please reply

Havn't read much yet... but a lot of it is like the original JKR books...hope to see more of "your" stuff!!

Well done! I love your writing. Can't wait to see what you do next :D

Hey I saw your question of where are all your reviews at, well first of all I have found that actual hits and actually reviews: the numbers are usually a long way apart from each other. But in my case I saved this to my favs awhile back, now I will admit I havent kept up with the story since, been to busy but I do occassionally come in and save the new updates to my computer, I plan on reading it of course it might be after your finished but I'll try to read it before then, I will admit that when you put I beleive in the summary that it was going to follow canon, kinda turned me off, you see I've been reading hp fanfic for about 5 years now and I can honestly tell you that I am sick of reading canon related stories, I mean how many times can you stand to read damn near word for word in the same chronicle order that rowlings puts it in and the same damn thing happens as what she wrote, I like it when a author changes it up or comes up with something original maybe briefly using the same characters but changes everything up. I havent read past first couple of chapters of your story so I dont know if your following canon strictly or not but dont worry I will read your story when I get the chance...sorry if this is not exactly what you wanted to hear from one of your viewers, but hey I noticed for some odd reason about 90 percent of the population that reads fanfic wouldnt review even you stuck a gun to thier head! go figure, and usually the ones that flame you are people that have never ever written or posted a fanfic stories in their lives.

ohh i'm really liking this series. much better than the JKR version imo. keep it up, can't wait to read more

Cheer up I like your fic :D
I want Jay to become another Tom Riddle :o

It was agood chapter but how can Jayy speak to the snake.Voldie didn't make him a parselmouth?

I just realised that if you take the 'i' out of Deilvtorm it makes an anagram of Voldemort! Good story keep them chapters coming x

if i wanted a bad reading i could always read canon

This is really good, especially now as they are at Hogwarts and it is getting a little more variable from the book. I have one question: I think I missed this earlier, but it said at the beginning of hte chapter that Jay has multicolored hair? What's up with that?

I kind of like the story, but you really REALLY need to check your spelling, grammar and the tense, because it's very annoying. Even all the places you've copied out from J.K's book you've missed letters - which just isn't good enough. If you're having trouble with this yourself then find a beta reader. It's worth it! Beleive me. I've done some writing myself and have a great beta reader, and I've been a beta reader too, and it's really paying off.

I'm looking forward to read more of this - especially when you stop copying J.K out (which I hope you do soon) and you start writing your own story. I know the whole point of writing this is to add a character who's important to Harry - in this case a brother - and to tell us, the readers, what you beleive has been left out of the original story, but it's boring to read a story like this that's pretty much just a rip off from the original with small changes. I quickly started skimming down the pages to find a paragraph that wasn't in the book on my bedside table - if you get my drift.

It will be a little boring and hard work at the beginning of a long story. You are writing a novel, not just a short story, so of course it takes time to develop. It might take years of publishing and writing more chapters to this story, but stick to it. I'm sure it will turn out pretty damn good :)

I like Jay, even though I think at the moment he's a bit too unobtrusive, but I'm sure he'll come around and play a larger role in this. I mean - there has to be a reason for him to be in this story, right ?

Anyway, keep it up :)

Jay is brilliant!! I wish he was really in the books. Hermione's reaction was hilarious lol

Hey your summary intrique me then your a/n at the beginning intriqued me more and of course so far the writing is...we excellent except for leaving out the (.) after Mr

but hey dont have time to read everything and I dont want to miss this or the other so called books so I'm leaving this in my favs so I can find it later tonight or tomorrow.

Tis story is great,please could you write some more ,you've captured it brilliantly!

This is pretty good...not much variation to the story so far, which is actually not that bad. I like the character of Jay and can't wait to see what happens next!